page 2 rule Britannia


page 2

Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves.

 The garden is really coming together now, even mother has mentioned, in passing, that a friend of hers has said so. {I’ll take that as a back handed compliment}

Well I am outside tidying up and round the corner comes a vision that I can only describe as Britannia holding a garden hoe as her trident on a mobility scooter.

“I’ve come out to help you, but if all you can do is laugh I won’t bother” mother can be so indignant.

“Yes fine ok no problem” well I’m not going to stop her working not when I can get a giggle out of it. “What are you planning to do?”

“I can sit on my scooter and do some weeding of course. “ (Brandishing a hoe with intent to do damage)

Oh I never stop a willing worker when there’s a lot to do and that hoe looked lethal. So mother was positioned by a flower bed the seat on her scooter turned sideways and I left her to it. Hoe in hand poking at the weeds
.
What a beautiful day it is birds singing sun shining not to hot not to cold mother screeching,

“Help I’m stuck I can’t move”

What the…., quick dash over to mother and she is stuck. Mother needs to turn the seat back to drive the scooter. Her legs are too short. She is literally perched on the edge of her seat stuck.

“If you laugh I will never offer to help again.”(Now would I laugh, ohhhh the temptation.)

“Are you doing too much you have gone quite red “said mother peering at me. The desire to laugh was nearly too much I was literally choking.

“No mother I’m ok, let’s get you moving again”

With that I turned her seat and off she went. I escaped to the other end of the garden and just cried with laughter.

Fair play to her she hoed and weeded for a good hour, until it was announce that she was getting to hot and she was calling it a day. Like a dutiful daughter I thanked her for her help and agreed to come in, in a while and carried on with what I was doing.

Suddenly there was an ear-piercing shriek. Mother had gone over a bump in the lawn and her mobility scooter was on the point of rolling over, which would put her squarely in the fish pond. In that split second it wasn’t my life that flashed before my eyes, but what would happen if I didn’t get to her in time.

Mother careering off the scooter splashing into the pond fish flying across the lawn and mother sitting there looking wet. Which would I save first the fish or mother.  (Bearing in mind I have a very matriarchal mother who also loves to nag,)

 I can move when needed and just caught her and the scooter before the splash. Still got the ear bashing though because there was a bump in the lawn.

“You need to get that sorted before I come out again its dangerous” she declared and Britannia, hoe and chariot sped off round the back of the house.
 Ok ,so mother has found sex equality all of a sudden.

I swallow any retort and carry on.

For the next few days all I heard was how her arms and legs were aching, somehow mother made up her mind it was all my fault, can’t work that one out but that’s mother. It also means that I am going shopping with her as she feels it would be hard for her to carry anything.


Till next time



copy right to Valarie Potter

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