page 3 with a little bit of patience

Page 3


With a little bit of patience,
 As a passenger you do sit,
You’ll never lose your sanity,
While by a mother you do sit.

I never thought that shopping could be such an ordeal. Firstly we had to drive there, mother insisted on driving.

“I know you’re driving speeding round everywhere, I’ll drive”

“How about your arms and legs” (please this can’t be happening, Nooo)

“I am perfectly able to drive, now pick up the bags and let’s get going” (help)
Mother is only five foot tall (or 153cm ish,) and one of those elderly people who drive large cars that they can’t see over the steering wheel. Nightmare when on the roads, psychologically damaging to sit next too. Also she is the only person I know that can give you the G force effect on take-off,
Off we go. I sit and tell her which way to turn the wheel so we can reverse, turn the car and get out the drive safely, (oh yes, she can’t see out the back of the car either, wing mirrors? Useless). Then it’s across the traffic,
“Anything coming your way” that’s another problem I am handy for.
“No you’re ok”
“No I’m not there’s cars coming my way” was the sharp retort, “this is why I don’t like you driving you don’t look.” (Deep breaths, think calm) “Anything coming your way?”
“No and your ways clear as well”
“I know, I was looking” (she can be so sarcastic)
So off we went at a rate of knots towards the supermarket.
Mother has always been a fast driver but know she was fast and in my opinion unsafe. She kept swerving towards the white line and back to the kerb, then straighten up for a while. 
A round- about, help she has been known to go round these the wrong way, but then we have to stop first. (Phew stopped at the last minute, not quite a screech of the brakes but very near). Before I could regain my wits she was off again.
 Ahhhh, oh its ok she choose to go clock wise round the round-about. Off we go, getting closer to the shops now nearly there. Indicating to turn, over the raised kerb (missed the lowered bit on the one side) and into a parking place.
“Not bad” mother says “get the bags let’s get going” (I feel like I’ve been on a reverse cycle in a tumble dryer). I get the bags and follow.
Up and down the aisles we go, I’m sent to fetch, frequently, normally something two aisles back, but it keeps her happy. (Woof)
Finally we are at the checkout, I start unloading and mother sits to rest her weary legs.
“You need this “waving her loyalty card
“Hang on let me pack first”
“You need this, here give it to the cashier”
Anything for a quiet life, I give it the cashier and back to mother. Then back to packing her groceries but now I have a mountain to get sorted. (These checkout people really shove the goods through.
“Hurry up, here’s the money to pay” I fetch the money and pay. Give the change back to mother and return to packing.
“Will you hurry, your keeping people waiting” I look at the queue and smiling sweetly apologise for the delay.
All packed so off I go, expecting mother to follow.
“Wait” she’s still sat there?
“Come over here, I can’t get up, help me”
“Come on give me your arm, one, two, three,” no chance can’t move her. Have I mentioned mother is not only short, but round as well?
“Come on! I can’t sit here all day” the cashier asked if I need help.
“I’m ok thanks I’ve got an idea”
“Ok mother on the count of three try again, one, two, three” I grab the waistband of her trousers and yanked her up. Looked at the cashier and said “that’s called the wedgey lift” did he and the queue laugh.
Mother drove back in her own style of driving, (hit and miss,) and while I unpacked she made a cup of tea.


Till next time

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