page 7 Wonders will never cease, And my mother amaze me.


page 7


Wonders will never cease,
And my mother amaze me.

Mother is getting on well with her new trolley, its crammed full of all sorts. It’s her office, vanity table and general work horse. Everything is pushed around on it.  

Visitors to the house are regaled with an account of how I knew exactly what to do when she was on the floor, (this did get embarrassing) followed by how everyone should have a trolley. Mother was happy.

When I go into the garden I see her take the rubbish to the dustbin using the walker with the seat, it took a slip for her see what she needed, but we got there.

I’m in the house today helping out with the bed changing, ironing and general dogs body stuff. The trolley is being used to the max, sheets to the washing machine, then to the dryer and in to the lounge for folding. (Mother sits down and helps).

“Isn’t winter a dreadful time for TV programs to watch” mother declares “everything is either repeats or animated kids’ stuff”

“Mother you have hundreds of channels on the Freeview box, there must be something on there”

“Well I can’t see anything in the TV magazine”

“Ok let’s finish the folding and we can have a look” we finish the folding and I make a cuppa ready for the interesting program search.

Now I must say mother is not technically minded at all, so explaining about the EPG button on the remote is a complete no go area. So I press the EPG button.

“What have you done to the TV, if you break it I will be stuck with nothing to watch” mother was deadly serious about this, as I said not at all technically minded.

“It’s the EPG button or the program guide that’s built into the Freeview box”

“Well don’t break it”

As I scroll down the channels I point out different ones that she might like and mother checks in the TV magazine to see if they are in it. It’s going to be a long day.

“Hold on not to fast I can’t keep up”

“Put the mag down and just look at the guide and see which ones you think are interesting” I am regretting doing this already.

“Ok, oh that looks good, let me check the magazine” (I can’t say what I was thinking)

“Just get a pen and write the number down” that starts a search for pen and paper. I said it was going to be a long day.

“Ok what’s the number? There were some others further back that I liked” (breath, keep calm)

So further back we went and mother wrote down numbers. Then it was back to where we stopped and carry on the search.

“There is a lot of channels. Too many really how can you watch them all” (is it a generation thing or mother being mother)

“Stop what is that one?” an excited shout from mother

“Which one”

We are getting into the higher numbers now and those with a Freeview box will know what comes further down the list.

“That one movies4men” I was struck dumb. With a title like that it must be an adult only channel. (Help)

“Mother when you get to this area on the EPG it starts to show the adult channels and that might be one” not to be put off mother insisted.

“Well I am an adult, Put it on, let’s have a look see what it is”( I really don’t want to watch porn, especially with my mother.)

“Go on put it on” well here goes she wants it on so all I can do is press the button.

 It was westerns, cowboy films, I have never been so relieved in my life. Phew!!!

Till next time









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