The garden, mother and me

Page 39 Necessity is the mother of invention Where mother is concerned I am very creative. Mother’s foot is painful again, and yes mother refuses to go to the doctors. “I will not take those tablets again, did you see the side effects to them. There was a long list” (there goes rational thinking.) “Did you have any side effects” (go on find just one.) “There were that many listed on the packet I didn’t know if I did or not” ( mother !) “I can assure you that the only side effect you have had, is your foot being less painful, you need some more tablets to get rid of the pain totally” now that is assertion at its best. “No” was all I got from mother. Off I went into the garden. I could really do with chopping something down, but had to make do with mowing the lawns. I had a good think about the problem of mother and the foot, would the doctor prescribe more tablets if I went and asked him or did it have to come from mother. Could be worth trying, what woul...

Page 38. It is said that if you don’t use it   You will lose it. And mother is the proof that it’s true. Mother has been taking her tablets and yes the doctor has confirmed it is gout she is getting, but will she have the other tablets to prevent it, no chance. At least she is pain free for the moment. The only thing is her walking is getting worse as she isn’t able to put her weight in the affected foot when it is painful. We are going to have her eyes tested today, which promises to be great fun as mother just can’t walk far any more. “We are going to the eye clinic today, do you feel able to do all that walking” sounds harsh, but if mothers’ legs give way on her then she could hurt herself. “I should be able to, how far is it?” mother replied. “There is a fair amount of walking to this one, I can’t park that close to the door. Then when we get inside it’s a long corridor to the waiting room, I popped down there and had a look yesterday” “Do you th...

Page 37 You can have too much of a good thing And mother loves strawberries and cherry tomatoes Mother is having a lot of fun at the moment, the runner beans are producing well. Everyone who comes to the house is offered beans and dispatched to pick their own. “Those beans you put in are doing ever so well, everyone comments an how lovely they are and we are getting quite a lot” I gave mother six plants to look after but planted twenty, mother still thinks it’s only the six. “And you didn’t want a vegetable garden” just couldn’t resist that comment. “Did you plant anything else” is that a trick question or genuine interest. “Yes I put in carrots and courgettes, just to fill the patch up” wait for it…… “Lovely can you leave a fork out so they can be dug up as well” what happened to the, I told you no vegetable patch. I really feel cheated now “Would you like some tomatoes, I put some in pots and there ready” “Oh yes please I love fresh tomatoes” m...

Page 36 And then we had, The day of the trifids ( Trifids is taken from the novel, The day of the trifids by John Wyndham) Mother watered and the beans grew. I had regular updates on their progress, so did her friends, the beans became quite a talking point. Until…… “You will have to do something with those beans I have never seen anything grow so fast, they are like trifids” I laughed they are growing well mother really is doing a great job... I never knew that growing a few plants could be so stressful, for mother it was. The beans had started to grow up the cord on her kitchen blinds. (Which I found hilarious) mother didn’t. “I keep taken them off the cord, but they climb up it again” “Now this is a serious situation of wayward beans.” I laughed Well that was it mother insisted that I did something with them or she would not water the beans any more. so I did, I took them out into the garden and planted in the new vegetable patch and put some poly...

Page 35 The days past and I continued getting the garden ready for,   Vegetables. Mother was still unaware of my plans to create a veg plot so at the moment I was not getting any opposition, oh the joys of defying the parent.   Today when I went to mothers I took with me six pots that I had planted runner beans in, “Can you look after these for me?” I ask. “Why and what do I have to do?” mother questions “I have run out of space in my green house, all you need to do is water them” I say innocently. Mother agrees, looking at the pots and I felt that it would give her something to do, also it is nice to watch seeds grow. While mother was pondering over the pots looking very suspiciously at them I nipped into the garden to sow some carrots and parsnips, into the illegal vegetable plot. “Where did you dash off to?” mother asked. “Oh just to put some stuff away that I had left out” (true I had to put the seeds away, in the soil) Mothe...

Page 34 Spring lambs are so sweet to look at, Humph!!! It’s a busy day today at mothers and today, I want to get away as early as possible.     That’s after the normal hair wash, back scrub and everything else. Plus now I am cleaning the windows, to be honest that is my own fault, I just got fed up of the smears the cleaner always left, oh well. “Are you ready for your hair to have your washed” I asked mother. “Yes just give me a minute and I will be with you” while I waited I started the taps running for the hot water and put everything ready, knowing mothers in a minute. She still wasn’t ready after I had done that, so I rushed out and put the rubbish in the bin and she was still not ready, “Mother are you coming” “Yes, yes, sorry, I was watching the lambs running round the field, here I am” Well that was two jobs done at the same time, back and hair. Now to work quickly though the rest and I am off. I got as far as cleaning the window...

Page 33 The flowers are blooming, Grass needs cutting, And the sheep are doing what sheep do best. I am back in the garden today, the spring flowers are finished now so the areas in the lawn where they were growing needs cutting. “Mother have you got a strimmer” might as well ask you never know. “Yes, but what do you want it for” why doesn’t she just say yes it’s in….. “To cut the daffodils know they have finished flowering and the long grass in the lawn” “Oh yes it’s in the garage, might need some petrol in it” What! Where’s the, that’s man’s work and the inevitable argument. baffled I go to find the strimmer, yes it’s in the garage, there is plenty of wire showing so I top it up with two-stroke and off I go. Brilliant so much easier I had a great time going round the garden slicing through nettles, brambles, dock leafs and of course the daffs and grass on the lawn. (I do like being destructive) By the time I finally ran out of things to chop do...

Page 32 The revenge of the squirrels. It has been such a busy time at mothers, I really don’t know where to start. It began as a very normal week, I called in to mothers intending on doing the normal chores, having a bit of a discussion here and there when ever mother became obstinate. You know, life, with mother. “It’s a complete disaster, you will never guess what has happened” mother greeted me with. “Alright calm down, what’s gone wrong” dear me mothers upset. “The cleaner was doing upstairs and she saw some white stuff on the carpet, looked up and there is a hole appearing in the ceiling. The roof must be leaking” mother is so dramatic. “I will have a look” and off up the stairs I went. There was a small hole appearing no damp patch just small holes as if… . “Mother you either have squirrels in the roof space or rats” “What!! How have they got in there, well I have never heard them scratching around so you must be wrong” was mothers verdict. ...