The garden, mother and me

page 23 Tidy is as tidy does. And mother’s trolley has a makeover. Before Christmas mother lost her shopping list, now the electricity bill has gone missing. The black hole of the trolley strikes again. “I cannot find that bill anywhere. It has to be paid, now. I am never late paying” Mother is really stressed this morning, it is a thing with her that everything has to be paid on time or early. So the trolley needs a radical sorting and that’ s what I intend to do. “The bill is probably sat on your trolley, hiding amongst the rubbish on there” “I looked there and it isn’t” (mother forgets the other times things have turned up, on the trolley) “Let’s have a sort out and put everything into baskets” (I am soooo practical) So the sorting of the trolley commenced. The amount of rubbish was unbelievable, old till receipts, empty envelopes and best of all the electricity bill. “I looked on here for that” said mother “Yes but with all the rubbish it ...

page 22 Christmas comes but once a year Thank goodness for that. Well we are all prepared for Christmas, everyone turns up (who would dare deny mother, me if I wasn’t cooking) mother was in her element holding court over the proceedings. The turkey was purchased as promised with all the trimmings. Mother and I sat and prepared the vegetables the night before, all I had to do was cook it. “I will have to go and help in the kitchen for a while” mother says to her guests “I have to keep an eye on things” (yes it’s not just my driving) “It’s all ok out here mother, no need for you to worry yourself” (in other words, go away) “Have you put the sausages in the oven, they need to go in you know” I glare at her to no effect. “They go in later, along with the stuffing, unless you want them cold” (sarcasm or what) “Ok, just don’t forget” (grrrrr) “is there anything I can do to help” mother is looking at me sweetly, ok lets get her working, “Yes, you can start la...

Page 21 It’s the week before Christmas We’re prepared in the house Mother is happy And that blasted squirrel is back on the bird feeder  I am doing mothers house hold chores today. It’s the normal procedure, I strip the bed mother takes the linen out to the washing machine, using her trolley, sets that off washing and I remake the bed. Not a bad routine really, she keeps some independence and feels useful. After the exertion of doing that I make her a cup of tea, she rests and I carry on with the other chores. There I was happily cleaning the windows and shout came from mother… “They have defeated you” “What on earth are you on about” I call back. “The squirrels, they are on the feeder, well one is, he looks really chuffed” mother is laughing her socks off, she has been waiting for this to happen. Grrrrrrr. “Did you see how it managed to get up there?” “No, but I did say you would not stop them” mother is finding this hysterical. That was...

20  Page Christmas on count down, I’m on melt down Mother has the chocolates, biscuits and cards for Christmas. Even the presents are taken care off, but unfortunately it doesn’t stop there, “Now who is coming this Christmas” (here we go ag ain) “is your daughter coming, how about her father and is her partner invited………” mother in full flow. “Wait a moment, I did say in her job they never know what they are working, she will be over around lunch time. Her father will turn up, it’s a free feed. As for her partner I haven’t a clue” at which point I stopped for breath. “Oh well I need to know so I can get the turkey” mother looked a bit sheepish. “I will go to the super market a couple of days before and buy one don’t worry” I really don’t stress over Christmas, but mother does. “Ok I will leave it to you” and that tone of voice said, if all goes wrong, it’s your fault. (The finger is metaphorically pointing) At which point I made my escape and went...

Page 19 Finders’ keepers, losers’ weepers. So put it where you can find it. The squirrels are still giving mother a lot of fun, I have regular updates on their antics, but the flower pot is holding them at bay, for the moment and the birds, they are enjoying sole ownership of the bird feeder. “When are we going Christmas shopping” (heck it’s nearly Christmas) “Have you finished the shopping lists” I smiled sweetly “Yes weeks ago, can we go today and make a start” mother looks hopeful. (This is one thing I dread every year) “Yes mother of course, sort out the lists. I will get the bags and walker ready” (oh such a dutiful daughter, NOT) “I can’t find the shopping list” declares mother.” (Oh bother) “It will be on your trolley, somewhere!” (That trolley is like a black hole, things vanish) “No I looked, It’s not here” (as a said, a black hole) “Let me look it must be here somewhere”   I start sorting out all the newspapers, “These p...