The garden, mother and me

Page 18 Softly, softly to catch a monkey, Downright crafty to stop a squirrel. “Hi mother, I have thought of a way to stop the squirrels” “Oh, did you ever make me jump, why don’t you let me know when you’re here” “I did you need to sort your ears out again. Any how I am popping out to sort out the squirrel situation, see you in a bit” and of I went. Firstly I took the top part of the bird feeder off and pushed the pole through a large flower pot so it was upside down on the pole. Then I put an adjustable clamp round the pole underneath it, tightened it up so the flower pot stayed in place and put the feeder back together. “You have put a flower pot on the pole” exclaimed mother “how will that stop them” “I think and hope that they will not be able to get past it” in theory it should work, but squirrels are clever. Well I went and started the ironing and the other odd chores I do for mother when I heard a shout, “Come here quickly” “What om e...

Page 17 Fair exchange is no robbery. It also does me a favour Down the field there is quite a lot of wood accumulating, which is fine as most is smallish stuff but a lot would be ideal for an open fire, which mother hasn’t got. So I thought I would ask the neighbours, at the bottom of the field, if they would like it free, if they cut it up and moved it. “Mother I am going to ask your neighbours if they would like the larger wood from the hedge for their fire” “Who’s going to cut it up and move it” mother replied. “If they cut it up and move it, it’s free, if I do, it isn’t, sounds like a fair deal to me” “Humph, we will see” mother always the cynic. Well I carried on with my plan and asked her neighbours, if they would be interested in the wood. I did say it was hard work, but it would save money in the long run. They agreed and arranged a time to come over and see what wood there was. “Hello, any more vultures today” it’s the neighbours. I laughed...

Page 16 Birds of a feather Flock together Mother is getting bored, the weather is getting colder and the prospect of going out appals her. “It’s far too cold to go out in this weather, going shopping once a week is enough” “You will get fed up being in come out for a drive” I suggested. “No. it is too cold and I am not sitting in a car” (I might as well save my breath) “I have brought your Christmas present up with me, I thought you might like it early” “I told you to save your money” mother never wants anything, but sulks if she doesn’t get a present) “Well I shall put it together and then you can say if you want it or not. See you in a bit” and off I went. “What is it “mother is curious now. I fetched some wooden 18 inch pegs, wire, and mallet then set to work. Firstly I weighed up where mother could see it from her chair, pushed the bottom pole in the ground i put 4 wooden pegs round it and tied those round with the wire. That was the pole ...

Page 15 Oh for the sound of silence, The wind whispering in the trees, And the singing of the birds. Must get mothers hearing sorted out. The preparations for Christmas are well under way, well for mother they are. She is happily writing lists and driving me mad in the process, I tell you Christmas needs a health warning in this house. I arrived to take her shopping today, I let myself in as normal calling hello, to let her know I was there, when I walked into the lounge she jumped, “You frightened me then, why didn’t you shout to say you were here” “I did, but the television is so loud you probably didn’t hear me, mind that’s your cardiovascular exercise for the day” I laughed. “That’s not funny and the television isn’t that loud, I can only just hear it” mother is not impressed and obviously can’t hear very well. “While you finish watching your program I will sort out the things we need” (help, I need ear protection) We went round the supermarke...