The garden, mother and me

Page 33 The flowers are blooming, Grass needs cutting, And the sheep are doing what sheep do best. I am back in the garden today, the spring flowers are finished now so the areas in the lawn where they were growing needs cutting. “Mother have you got a strimmer” might as well ask you never know. “Yes, but what do you want it for” why doesn’t she just say yes it’s in….. “To cut the daffodils know they have finished flowering and the long grass in the lawn” “Oh yes it’s in the garage, might need some petrol in it” What! Where’s the, that’s man’s work and the inevitable argument. baffled I go to find the strimmer, yes it’s in the garage, there is plenty of wire showing so I top it up with two-stroke and off I go. Brilliant so much easier I had a great time going round the garden slicing through nettles, brambles, dock leafs and of course the daffs and grass on the lawn. (I do like being destructive) By the time I finally ran out of things to chop do...

Page 32 The revenge of the squirrels. It has been such a busy time at mothers, I really don’t know where to start. It began as a very normal week, I called in to mothers intending on doing the normal chores, having a bit of a discussion here and there when ever mother became obstinate. You know, life, with mother. “It’s a complete disaster, you will never guess what has happened” mother greeted me with. “Alright calm down, what’s gone wrong” dear me mothers upset. “The cleaner was doing upstairs and she saw some white stuff on the carpet, looked up and there is a hole appearing in the ceiling. The roof must be leaking” mother is so dramatic. “I will have a look” and off up the stairs I went. There was a small hole appearing no damp patch just small holes as if… . “Mother you either have squirrels in the roof space or rats” “What!! How have they got in there, well I have never heard them scratching around so you must be wrong” was mothers verdict. ...

Page 31 . Fuel the flames of curiosity. And you will live to regret it Mother really enjoyed having some information to pass to her friends, it was have you seen what they are doing up the road from me. They are building new extensions to the houses and having new drives put in, must be costing them a fortune. There were oooohs and ahhhhs coming from the mothers meetings that she held regularly in the super market, while sitting on her walker. Me I just got on with the shopping. One evening I was sat at home and I thought what fun it would be to look on the local planning application web site, to see what other people were going to build and let mother know. I found pages of applications that were close to her, so I printed the details off. The next time I saw her, “Mother look what I have found for you, pages of planning applications” I grinned. “Oh where did you get those, let me see” mother is a right one for local gossip. “On the internet, you can sear...

Page 30 Mothers not nosey, Just curious. We are of shopping today, mother has done the shopping list and I have checked the cupboards to make sure she hasn’t forgotten anything. .0   I always think of shopping day as organised chaos. Mother comes to the front door where the walker is ready and waiting, I hold the handbag and of we go. With mother safely in the car the walker put in the boot, we head for the super market. “Slow down” shouts mother. “What’s the matter” I say braking, looking for a speed camera or worse. “I wanted to see what they were doing at that house. But you were going to fast for me to see.it doesn’t matter now” “You could cause an accident shouting like that. What were you looking at?” I was really annoyed. “They seem to be doing some building work at that house, I only wanted to see what they were having done” mother looks so innocent at times. “Are you becoming a nosey neighbour” I tease. “No, I was just curious th...

Page 29 Spring is the time of awakening flowers. And mothers primroses. It’s time to get into the garden again. So off I go to mothers ready to start on a major spring tidy up of the garden. “Hi mother I am going in the garden today, it needs a tidy up” “You were out there the other day. What else could need doing” mother!! “The weeds are coming up, the dead flower stalks need removing, do you want me to continue?” phew she is hard work. “I will spend a couple of hours outside then come in for a cuppa and cake.” “Oh Alright but wrap up warm and don’t do too much” (cake normally wins her round) I really enjoyed being outside messing around for a few hours. When I went back inside. I sat and told mother that the spring flowers were coming up and that the lawns needed mowing again when it was dry enough. (Big mistake) “You can’t mow the lawns the primroses are out. I had this with the other gardeners.NO” (mother and her primroses) “Their mainly in the...

Page 28. To be told not to do, Is like a red rag to a bull, for me Today I am in the garden doing this and that after a mild winter the lawns need cutting and a general tidying up. I have gradually got the garden back into some semblance of neatness, I wouldn’t go so far as to say a beautiful garden, but at least the house looks lived in. Mother often asks about the garden at my house and I tell her about the plants I am growing and my vegetable plot. “Don’t think your digging a vegetable plot here” mother suddenly says. Well, up until that point I hadn’t even thought of it, but know the idea had been put in my head. ”I wouldn’t even contemplate digging up the lawn for a vegetable garden, there are far too many rabbits round here” I said indignantly, but mentally I was planning, plotting where to put a vegetable plot. Where ever I put a vegetable patch it had to be somewhere that wouldn’t entail digging up grass, ummm, there was that bed of shrubs at th...

Page 27 What cannot be cured must be endured. Because of mothers stubbornness Calling in on mother today I am greeted with “My foot really hurts, can you look at it” “Have you done something to cause it to hurt” I ask “No and it has kept me awake most the night “ kneeling down I had a look at mothers foot. There are no cuts or bruising, but the toe is very red and hot. It’s probably gout again. “I think you should go to the doctors and let him have a look” “I don’t want to go to the doctors” mothers being awkward. “Ask for a home visit “I am trying to reason with her, but it’s hard “No” “Well you never know it might drop off, what will you do then” mother said it too us as children. “Don’t be ridiculous” mother snorts. I decide to leave it for now and try later. With the ironing, bed changed and washing done, I have another attempt. “You’re finding it hard to walk why not, phone the doctors ” “No” short and sharp answer. ...

Page 26 Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But will mother agree. As mother has taken to using the walker in public now, when she asked me to buy her some more t-shirts, I suggested using the walker and choosing her own. That suggestion was met with some trepidation, which I suppose was understandable, as it would involve some walking. “How about we go to the bank this week see how I manage and the shops next time” says mother looking hopeful. “Alright, if that’s what you want to do its fine by me” So off we went to the shops. I drive now that mother has finally given up (people are safe at last) but now I have a front seat driver. “Stop I have forgotten my glasses” shouts mother just as I am turning round.  “How can I watch the roads without them” states mother. “You don’t need to, I am driving” “Yes but I am helping” (is blind folding her legal or classed as abuse) Instead I go back into the house and get the glasses. “Alright you can g...

Page 25 It is best to be on the safe side, As it might be easier. Mother has been finding it increasingly harder to walk round the supermarket with me and on several occasions has refused to leave the house at all. Her walking started to get worse due to her foot hurting and being unable to walk. This I do find worrying, as if I don’t take mother out she never goes anywhere. Infinitely boring for anyone. Time for some more persuasive talking, I really need to get her using the walker with the seat, round the shops. “Hi mother are you ready to go shopping today” “Not really I don’t feel up to it. “Says mother. I knew this would happen, once again mother will not leave the house, now I need to choose my words carefully to get her out. “How about coming out for the drive, you can sit in the car and wait while I do the shopping” (good start) “I don’t know” (that’s not a firm no) “You often sit in the car talking to your friends” (subtlety) “Oh ok ju...