page 1 you can choose your friends

page 1

You can choose your friends - - - - - - -but your family, you’re stuck with.

Have you ever noticed that there is a definite role reversal in life? When your young mothers care for you, when your older they still believe they’re doing the caring but in fact you are.

On my last visit I noticed that mother was becoming more, not frail as that would never describe mother, or confused, as she will always be able to nag for Britain, but more not able to cope with things.

The first was the garden, walking up the path was more like going on a trek through the jungle, machete at the ready watching out for wild animals, scrambling over the under growth dodging tree branches and brambles, then coming across a clearing.

 It was the lawn!! Mown and tidy? How bizarre. Bemused I carried on to the house to see mother.

After the normal pleasantries, such as you’re too thin! You don’t eat enough! You look a mess! And so on. Followed by replies of, I’m a healthy weight, I eat enough to survive and so would you after scrambling though that garden and how come the gardens a mess, but the lawns been mown.

“A chap mows the lawns but doesn’t like doing gardens and the garden was done by a professional gardener and is fine”, was mothers retort.

Hum mother obviously doesn’t walk down the paths very often.

“When did you last see the gardener” I asked wondering if he was lost somewhere at the bottom of the garden or worse.

“Oh he quit didn’t like work!” Well that answered that.

So I took on the garden amid a lot of, you can’t manage its too hard, don’t do too much, wear a hat, have a drink, etc. etc. etc. {mothers of the opinion that females are weaker than men} not mine

And that’s how all this started, with a casual observation.

Well in to the garden I go, no machete but a saw, loppers and secateurs.

The first day i stood and looked round, where the heck should I start. It was dreadful. Well according to good old Julie Andrews the beginning is a very good place to start. So to the gate and up the path is where I went. Chopping and sawing to my hearts content, destructive gardening is very rewarding. It did occur to me at some point that there was a lot of rubbish to be got rid of,

Bonfire time!

“Hey mother have you any firelighters, paper? Something to start a fire.”

“What came the screech, "you can’t you’ll set the garden on fire.”{Hum now there’s a thought.}

“No I won’t. The incinerator is on the slabs I have thought of that.”

At which point I grabbed the firelighters and ran. Nothing like a good bonfire. {Defying mother is a bonus.}

 I did get it in the neck afterwards with the, have you left it safe. Did you have the hose pipe ready in case, finally, its man’s work you’re doing when will you ever learn? 

 Evidently mother hasn’t moved into this century yet!

At the end of the week the chap came to mow the lawns I had been instructed they were a man’s job so left them. (i'm quite happy to play along sometimes) He was not a happy chappy, yes he mowed the lawns and then declared that I had made them much bigger and he was not doing them again.

Now is that the get out of jail free card being used?

Naturally I got it in the neck for making the lawns bigger,

 Hum they stayed the same size just less branches overhanging them and I had cut in some flower beds so they were smaller. Nope mother was adamant, a man had said, so it was true.

“Well another job for me.”

“No the lawn mower is broke, he used his own.”

“Ok I will have a look at it.”

“No that’s man’s work. “

{Think I’ve been here before} Well guess what five minutes of tinkering and it was working. Woman power

“How did you get that working? “Demanded mother

“Someone I know. “I said tongue in cheek

“Who. “Mother is so suspicious

“Saw the postman outside says he loves the garden, it’s much easier to find the front door now.” I added that last bit for good measure

“Oh he’s a good lad, takes my post for me if I leave it in the letter box.”

I make a quick exit laughing.

Till next time




COPY RIGHTS TO VALARIE POTTER